Junrei
by taka003
Summary: Hakkai returns from a journey and Sanzo starts one. HakkaixSanzo


Just a little thing I'm working on. Blah...disclaimer...blah blah

"Sha fucking Gojyo, he has been gone for three months and now look at him." Sanzo yelled at the red head.

"Shut the fuck up, like I wanted him to go." Gojyo came chest to chest with the monk and narrowed his eyes. "He decided to up and leave on his own one morning...not so much as a thanks a bunch Gojyo for letting me stay with you…fucking nothing."

"Just because you have abandonment issues, don't take it out on me." Sanzo looked up not letting the few inches Gojyo had on him intimidate him.

"Whatever asshole." He turned and flopped on the sofa.

Sanzo left Gojyo in the living room and stalked off down the small hall and entered the bed room without knocking. Hakkai lay curled up on the bed poorly attempting to feign sleep. The brunet was thin and too pale for Sanzo's liking. His hair was long and ragged, but clean now after Sanzo forced the man into the shower.

"So are going to tell me how you got all those bruises and claw marks or am I going to have to go in and get the answers myself?" The monk sat on the bed careful not to touch the youkai just yet.

"Ah...I was a bit careless on my travels and fell, nothing more Sanzo." He sat up. "And why is it that I'm still naked? I thought I put boxers on."

Violet eyes narrowed and Sanzo pinned Hakkai's shoulders to the bed. "Stop with the bullshit. It may work with Gojyo, but not me." He moved in close and looked into the green of the real eye and then the false. "You passed out in the shower and I hauled your skinny ass to bed."

"I'm sorry Sanzo I don't mean to be a bother really, but I needed to go…I needed to make sure." Hakkai relaxed under Sanzo's hold.

"Well that's a start, keep going." The blond nudged Hakkai over and leaned against the headboard.

"I couldn't tell Gojyo because he would talk me out of it. I feel terrible about the pain I caused him; I know he's sensitive to loved ones leaving him behind." He sighed and rolled facing Sanzo to look at him better.

"I want to hear about you Hakkai; you can deal with him later." The man fingered the longer chocolate hair. "You had Goku really worried he wouldn't leave me alone for more then an hour." He sighed and looked at the green eyed man. "You should keep this it suits you."

Hakkai pulled away. "No it's too unruly." He sighed and closed his eyes. 'Too much like Gonou.' He though. "I needed to be alone, to think things through and the only way was to go back to where she died."

"You really are a masochistic fuck aren't you?" Sanzo took the hair back to twine in his fingers. "So what exactly did you need to think about and that still doesn't explain the wounds and weight loss."

Hakkai leaned into the touch this time. "I just can't win with you can I? Fine then, I'll give you all the details."

Sanzo eased back, combing his rough fingers through Hakkai's soft hair. "Go one then, spill it and no weeping I can't stand that." He spoke as if he was unaware of what his hand was doing. But the monk knew very well what he was doing. He wanted to push Hakkai into giving him a sign that the other man might be interested in him. Sanzo had come to terms with his feelings during Hakkai's time away.

"Yes Sanzo." Hakkai took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Something had been bothering me ever since Gonou died and Hakkai was birthed. How many of them I did leave alive and when were they going to try and find me seeking revenge. I have come to care deeply for you, Gojyo and Goku and have no desire to see you hurt because of my stupidity."

Sanzo tipped Hakkai's face up to force him to look him in the eye. "Stop worrying about us, we can handle ourselves."

"I know gomen Sanzo." Hakkai sat up wincing slightly from the wounds.

"But that's not the real reason is it? Knowing you, you went to be close to her…open up the wounds of loss again." The monk didn't let go of the healer's face. "She messed you up Hakkai, granted you were flawed to begin with or you wouldn't have done what you did, but she made it worse."

Hakkai stiffened and narrowed his eyes to glare dangerously at Sanzo. "You are a cruel man Genjyo Sanzo."

"Yes I certainly can be, but it's the truth and I have never lied to you Hakkai."

Hakkai clutched his stomach and leaned over his arms. "You are right, but not in the way you think. I did go there to be close to her. I wanted to ask for permission to live for myself, to be allowed to love again and possibly be loved in return." He turned his head and stared into violet eyes. "That's all I ever wanted Sanzo, to be allowed to love someone despite what I am."

"You have to forgive yourself Hakkai; the dead don't give a shit about the living." He could feel the weight of Hakkai's words settle in his chest. He couldn't turn away from the heated look in those green eyes. "Learn to love yourself and the rest will fall into place."

"That's the crux of it is it not? I'm dirtied with the blood of youkai and humans alike, a murder and incestuous bastard." He shook his head. "I'll have to be content with what I have and hope for the best."

"Che...like any of us are any better. Get over yourself Cho Hakkai and stop being a coward, because I know there is a brave and selfless man in here waiting to be let out." Sanzo tapped the man's forehead.

Hakkai turned and grabbed a handful of Sanzo's robe. "Are you so certain of that? If I were a brave man I would be able to do as I want, not what is expected of me." His voice was quiet and desperate.

"Then do it god damn it and stop with your self torture." Sanzo wrapped his long fingers around Hakkai's wrist.

He leaned in close to Sanzo's lips and hovered there uncertain. "Not yet Sanzo, not yet. I need a little more time to get comfortable with the ideas that are rambling inside my head." He moved his head aside and laid it on the blonde's shoulder instead. "You will be the first to know."

Sanzo released the hold he had on Hakkai's wrist and combed his fingers in the thick unruly hair. "Does Gojyo know how you feel?"

"No of course not, I can't break his heart after leaving him without any word. He may not realize just yet that what he feels for me is nothing but unconditional friendship. He has never been cared for without some sort of violence or payment attached to the emotion. We will work it out I'm sure." Hakkai's warm breath caused Sanzo to shiver.

"Good because I can't stand his angst any more than your self destruction." He hesitantly put his arm around Hakkai's back. "I'll wait for you to pull yourself together and then we can talk."

Hakkai pulled away and looked at the priest. "And here I had hoped to keep this all a secret. You are too good at tearing down my defenses."

"Yeah well I've had a lot of practice with defenses." He trailed his finger tips along Hakkai's jaw line and then sat back. "So are you going to finish telling me how you got hurt?"

Hakkai smiled softly knowing his secret was safe and that his feelings just might be returned one day. "Simple really, I met several foes during my pilgrimage and didn't have much time to eat or wash the wounds I received. The worst was when a pack of youkai decided I looked like easy prey."

Gojyo decided he had waited long enough and stepped in the room. "Ya know a guy could die out there waiting for you two to finish in here." He strolled to the end of the bed taking in the closeness of his friend's bodies. The kappa suspected Hakkai's interest for several months now and was not surprise at the scene before him.

Hakkai chucked. "I'm sorry Gojyo, Sanzo was setting me straight on a few things and you know how he gets when he starts in on someone." He winked at Sanzo.

"Ass, I need coffee or something stronger after dealing with your bullshit." He grumbled halfheartedly. "But I'm not done with you Hakkai." He said over his shoulder.

"Help yourself cherry-chan." Gojyo teased.

The priest flipped him the finger and the kappa snorted. He turned his eyes to Hakkai. "You ever do this shit again and I will wring that pretty neck of yours."

"I'm terribly sorry Gojyo, I really am. I promise I will never do it again, I think I may have found some of what I was searching for."

The kappa cocked his head and looked at his friend. "Yeah? Well good because I would hate to loose a good friend to a stupid death."

"You won't Gojyo." He sat a little straighter. "I think I can live a little for myself now thanks to you and Sanzo." His smile reached his eyes and he patted Gojyo on the shoulder.

"You rest then and I'll make sure our monk gets home safely." Gojyo laughed.

"Thank you Gojyo, for everything. I value your friendship, I really do." Hakkai lay back under the covers.

Gojyo rubbed the back of his head slightly embarrassed. "Ah..yeah well it's good to have ya back."

"You can't get me that way you stinky kappa." Goku dodged a kick and laughed.

"I just don't want you bleeding on Hakkai's flowers." He charged in again.

Hakkai sat on the small back porch watching his friends practice. "You would think that after a while they would realize they are fairly evenly matched."

"You would, but they are both subhuman." Sanzo sipped his coffee and set his paper down. "You have finally gained some weight back." He looked appreciatively at Hakkai's body. 'But still hasn't cut his hair yet.' Sanzo thought.

"Yes, Gojyo has been keeping an eye on me. He's convinced some sweet young girl in town to make me food. Of course he's also trying to get her to ask me out."

"You haven't spoken with him then?" He drained his cup.

"I have, but he says he would rather see me miserable with a woman than happy with a bitchy monk." He led up his hands and smiled. "His words not mine."

"Figures he would be homophobic." He said quietly. "Nothing wrong with two guys together."

Hakkai tipped his head. "Is that an admission Sanzo?"

"I admit to nothing other than knowing Gojyo is a pain in my ass."

"I see, but Gojyo is far from homophobic; so you see he isn't opposed to me wanting to be with another man, it's you he objects to." Hakkai refilled the monk's cup.

"Stupid kappa… we have always butted heads." He turned to look at Hakkai in the eyes. "Well it's just too bad for him then. I want to see where this thing between us goes Hakkai. I can't promise anything, but I'm curious."

Hakkai knew that was as much as an admission of caring he would get from Sanzo and was glad for it. "Alright, I must warn you once I get close to someone I take them and their love very seriously."

"I know Hakkai that's why we will take it slow." He reached over and touched that soft chestnut hair he loved. "I want you to come to dinner at the temple and we will talk without eavesdropping ears."

Hakkai smiled warmly. "Of course."

Goku stopped in his attack on Gojyo and poked him. "They are doing it again."

Gojyo looked at the young man and then at the two at the table. "So? Leave them alone."

"So? Doesn't it bother you when your best friend is letting Sanzo touch him like that?" Goku wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"No not really." Gojyo picked up his beer and took a swig. "If it makes Hakkai happy I could care less, just wish he picked someone that wasn't an asshole though."

"Like you?" Goku sat on the ground and picked at the grass.

"Naw I'm not ready for that sort of commitment, I'm too young to settle down."

"Whatever it's sort of weird though, Sanzo actually touching someone." Goku looked at Gojyo.

"He's a man after all and to deny that just because he's a Sanzo is foolish." Gojyo crushed his can and pushed Goku. "Don't worry about it kid, just let things happen as they will."

"Wow Gojyo I didn't think you were that smart." He chuckled.

"What? Fuck off saru." He stood and readied for round two.

"What do you think they are talking about Sanzo" Hakkai looked at the others.

"Who knows with those two, could be anything from food to girls." He said dismissively.

"Goku discovering girls is he?"

"Not really he's just starting to figure himself out." Sanzo sighed and let his fingers brush Hakkai's arm. "He may be far older than we can imagine, but he's still like a kid most of the time. I have to keep an eye on the other monks to make sure those perverts don't take advantage of his trusting ways and give him a crash course in sex."

"I understand nothing more startling than being thrust into something you are unprepared for." Hakkai held still while Sanzo tentatively touched his arm.

"It was that way for you then?" He looked at Hakkai.

"Unfortunately it was. I was accepted into a school for exceptionally bright young men and was the youngest among them. My reluctance to mingle and my girly face attracted several boy's that thought I would be an easy target." He shrugged and poured himself another cup of coffee.

"Well, I'm not so foolish to push you Hakkai."

Hakkai took Sanzo's hand in his. "You can push as much as you want; I'm ready for it now."

"We will see what happens when you come for dinner." He let his hand be captured.

"Alright, I look forward to it Sanzo." His voice flirtatious and he smiled a true smile.


End file.
